We all know the kind of person. There’s one in every circle of friends. If you can’t think of one in your group, then it’s probably you.
It’s the ‘confident’ person. The kind of person that always speaks up, is never afraid to hold back and always gets themselves noticed. The kind of person that you’ll love to hate, but are secretly envious of. The kind of person we all wish we could be.
Confidence isn’t something that comes easy for most of us. Being confident means that we’re more open to criticism. By being the person that answers the toughest questions and puts themselves forward in the most difficult tasks, we increase the chance of getting things wrong and of making a fool of ourselves. It’s so much easier to be an observer, to sit in the background when things are difficult and then jump on the bandwagon when things become simpler. It’s not hard to be invisible.
However, there is nothing to gain from being the quiet one on a professional or personal level. From my very first day at university, I began (as I’m sure many people did) subconsciously sizing up my competition. These are the people who would be my friends, but also the people who I’d be sitting next to in exams and one day competing against for jobs. Who did I think I could beat? Who did I think would beat me? Who was my competition?
The people who shone out as the ‘cream of the crop’ from day one were those who put themselves out. The ones who answered all the questions, chatting easily with lecturers and made sure everyone knew their name. PR is all about networking and reputation, and these peoples were already pros. Against the backdrop of nervous, quiet first years, they stood out as enthusiastic, bright and confident students. The kind of students who you were sure would get the best placements, work the hardest and come out of the degree with a first. I didn’t even know what their grades were, or if they were particularly bright. It didn’t matter, from the very first impression the confident student seems like a winner.
Of course without the ‘smarts’ to back up the confidence the act becomes see through over time, and some of the students that were the most prominent on the first day have faded into obscurity and fresh talent has taken their place; PR is a competitive course. But others still continue to shine on and make their mark due to their natural gift of being confident. This got me thinking about my own confidence and how others view me.
When I was younger I was always a very confident, a ‘loud’ child that loved to be the centre of attention. Towards the end of primary school and during high school though, my confidence had just about evaporated. It wasn’t until sixth form and university that I finally started to become a more assertive and self-assured individual, a trait which I think many develop as they finally enter the freedom of university where most of the trouble makers of high school have finally matured.
At university students have the chance to shine and are constantly put in situations designed to build their confidence – such as working in groups of people you don’t know and presenting previously unknown material to large groups of strangers. I know my experiences at Bradford University definitely changed me as a person and made me a much better presenter as I constantly had to do presentations on medical conditions I’ve never even heard of until a week or so before and then relay my new found knowledge to groups of seventy people or more.
Getting part time work also helps with confidence and communication skills, especially if there is a great deal of customer service involved. I currently work in a bar/restaurant and feel as though in the past few moneys I have definitely become a more self-confident and self-assured individual as a result, and constantly working with customers means I have developed my conversation and reasoning skills as well as the ability to deal with more awkward of aggressive people (especially on a Saturday night) by remaining calm and non confrontational but also having the confidence to stand my ground.
I think other people do view me as a confident person and hopefully as a good speaker during presentations and I think a lot of that is due to experience and practice. Confidence isn’t something that all of us are blessed with, but it is something which we all can learn.
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